"It will happen suddenly and unexpectedly as far as the world is concerned. Now, brothers, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, "Peace and safety," destruction will come on them suddenly, as labour pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape" (1 Thess. 5:1-3).
We are aware that many of the brothers and sisters of our Church have been restless. Wondering when our Lord will return to us and shower us with his golden warmth. The time draws near!
The two disciples of our lord, Jacob and Nicholas, have returned from a long journey. They claim to have spoken to our Lord through prayer and hallucinations. This journey has taken them close to 2 years and many hundereds of hours of dedication!
Let it be known to every man, woman, and child that they have indeed written and finished another testament to our Lord.
When will our ears be blessed with the scripture you ask? Fear not, the time is just approaching. However, this next chapter in the book of our savior, will be introduced in such magnificent jubilation, that it will overshadow ALL false prophets. We need to show to the world and our Lord that we are faithful to only him.
"It has been written that all his steaming glory will fall onto the faces and chests of those who oppose Him!"
The disciples have given us only this:
"This next testament will have two parts, of course the first part will be more hymns and music! These have enabled our Church to grow to what it is today. However, this masterpiece will improve on our last tenfold, in every way any mortal could concieve! The second part of the testament will be a visual component, with moving pictures, to intensify the experience and tell the story of our Lord, his kingdom, our disciples, and our Church. We are certain that once these chapters unfold, the world cannot deny the irrevocable greatness of our Lord and Savior LUDACHRIST!"
So, Brothers and Sisters, spread the word tell everyone in your town, village, or city that we only need wait a while longer before we are blessed with what is sure to be the most powerful testament to our Lord mankind has ever witnessed!
Before we leave you, we must give praise to a member of our church, GRYM from the Seattle, WA chapter of our church for submitting his T-Shirt design and winning the "Ludachrist T-Shirt Design Competition"! You can purchase the shirt from one of our sponsors: Negative Media Corporation.